Meditation on Irrational Thoughts Part 12

The idea that you give yourself a global rating as a human and that your general worth and self-acceptance depends on the goodness of your performance and the degree that people approve of you.

Yeah, I do this.

I always have.

I remember when I was younger and I heard about an elder cousin who got straight A’s.  I felt that I would never get straight A’s and I felt hopelessly inadequate compared to her.  Worse, I felt that my parents would never be proud of me. It was all too much. I ran into another room to cry.

The irony is, I did get straight A’s during the fall semester of my senior year of college.  It was, without doubt, the most difficult semester of my life.  I wrote 15 papers that semester.  And I am only counting superstar were at least 4 pages long.  I was shocked and happy, but not all that happy.  Why?  Because that winter break, I had surgery on my knees.  I spent two weeks in the hospital with physical therapy twice a day.  I had to relearn how to bend my knees, a slow and very painful process.

In light of that, getting straight A’s seemed irrelevant.

i guess my point is, maybe the standards are not as important as we make them out to be.  I wasn’t popular in high school, but for the most part, I haven’t had to see most of those people again, so did it really matter?  I guess not.



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